Tuesday 14 February 2012

Sean Penn Proves He Knows Nothing About Anything As He Moves On Argentina’s President

Hollywood actor Sean Penn has once more demonstrated his amazing lack of knowledge and is hoping his comments regarding the Falkland Islands will be enough for him to get into Argentina President Cristina Kirchner’s knickers.

The American has slated Britain’s stance on The Falkland Islands, accusing the UK of colonialism. “The world today cannot tolerate ridiculous demonstrations of colonialism,” he said following a meeting with Kirchner. Penn was apparently there to ‘discuss the rising tensions over the islands,’ which involved Cristina doing a lot of talking and Penn staring at her tits and agreeing to anything she said, including referring to the islands as the Malvinas.

However a spokesman confirmed that Penn, who has been in politics for a grand total of zero minutes, was only there to get in the pants of the president. “He’ll do anything to get in her knickers,” said the spokesman. “He knows what he is saying is complete bullshit but he’s a typical Hollywood actor. He’s controlled by his dick.”

The British government have repeatedly stated that the islands will remain British as long as the islanders want to remain part of Britain and have backed plans for self-determination, meaning the people of the Falklands will get to choose who they belong to, something which is above the IQ level of Penn.

“Sean has no idea what this self-determination is,” said the spokesman. “All he’s arsed about is getting his end away. So we’re asking the Brits to stop blinding us with words and just give the islands to Argentina. Sean will then get his shag and everyone’s happy.”

Prime Minister David Cameron reacted to Penn’s words by sending Nick Clegg to face the press. In a brief statement prepared by Cameron, Clegg said “Sean Penn is a self pleasuring individual with about as much political knowledge as myself. We would appreciate it if he would happily go and fornicated with himself.”

That should confuse him for a while.

May the force be with you

Jedi Master Bob

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