Police Lines Inundated As Huge Ball Of Light Sighted In British Skies

Worried members of the public across the country have flooded police lines as a huge ball of heat and light continues to dominate British skies.

The phenomenon, which has many scientists baffled, started earlier in the week, however concerned citizens have now begun contacting police in an effort to understand exactly what is going on.

“If this keeps up, I’m going to have to stop wearing my coat when I walk to work,” said Clive Albert from Norwich. “Is there any explanation for this yet, or are our scientists just sitting with their fingers up their arses as usual?”

And Michelle Raymond from Manchester said “It was so bright this morning that I had to close my curtains so I could see the TV. Who ever herd of closing your curtains in the daytime? Ridiculous.”

Scientists are yet to come up with a certified answer for the sudden appearance of the ball of light, but some have already started with the wild theories. “I believe it’s an object called the sun,” said Professor Sarah ‘Loony Tunes’ Stewart from Leeds University.

Noticing the perplexed look on our confused faces, Professor Stewart explained. “The Sun is a great big, fuck off ball of fire sitting in space. No, don’t panic, its miles away. Now, this gives off a shit load of heat and light that reaches the Earth and warms the planet.”

Professor Stewart continued with her whacky theory by saying “The sun is usually hidden behind clouds and has not been seen in this form for some time, so I can understand your fear, but there really is nothing to worry about.”

But Brian Jones from North Wales, who has spoken to Jedi Master Bob previously, took a different view, blaming the government as he did during the spell of cold weather in winter. We went back to him to get his views on the current situation. “The Sun my fucking arse. That’s a bleeding myth. No, it’s the government pissing about with space and weapons and shit. I bet them bloody Americans are involved as well. Whenever shit happens, the Americans are always involved.”

The government, as usual, have declined to comment on the phenomenon, but one insider said “This is a great discovery and we’re exploring the possibility there may be oil on this thing. If there is, we’ll be sending an invasion force straight away. You know how we love invading countries with oil.”

May the force be with you

Jedi Master Bob

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