The rocket, which was apparently being tested in order to put a weather satellite into orbit, failed to leave the Earth’s atmosphere and ended up looking like an impotent man’s cock, rising to a certain point before embarrassingly crashing back down again without getting near it’s target or delivering a payload.
But the country is now set to receive help from the terrorist organisation, who have now put all other terrorist activities on hold for a while until they have finished in North Korea.
“It was cringe city when that rocket fell back to earth,” said one operative. “I was like ‘come on, you got all this technology and you still fucked it up?’ So we’re going over there to show them how it’s done. It does mean that everything else we had planned, will have to wait for a bit.”
But Al Qaeda denied that the operatives were going to North Korea just for something to do. “That’s utter bollocks,” said the operative. “We’ve got loads of shit planned, you’ll see. However we do know heaven is recruiting for new virgins at the moment, so we’re just waiting for the new stock to come in and we’re good to go.”
Meanwhile, leaders from around the world have entered a second day of laughing and finger pointing at the communist country following the failed launch. Prior to the launch, there was consternation that the North Koreans were testing the rocket as a weapon rather than sending it into space, but the failure led to many leaders wondering what the hell they were worried about.
In America, President Barack Obama is rumoured to be absolutely pissing his sides laughing and has kept most of the White Staff up throughout the night. “No one has had any sleep this evening,” said a presidential aide. “Every half an hour, he’s howling with that raucous laughter of his. He’s keeping everyone up. If I don’t get some sleep soon, I’m going to kill him. Wait, can you not print that bit?”
Even the Chinese, who are quite friendly with the North Koreans, had a sly dig at their neighbours. “What the fuck was that?” asked one Chinese official. “My kids have flown kites that have got higher than that thing. What a bunch of losers.”
However British Prime Minister David Cameron, who is visiting the Far East for some reason, did have some sympathy for North Korea. “To get a rocket up half way and then see it come down very quickly is a very embarrassing problem. Nick Clegg suffers from that, so I’ve sent them his number and if they want to talk, Nick will be there.”
North Korea have stated that they will be trying again, but next time they will have a shed load of viagra on stand by, just in case. And if that fails, the scientists will be sent on a date with a North Korean firing squad.
May the force be with you
Jedi Master Bob
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