Joe Hart In Bad Game Shocker

This evening, Joe Hart crashed to a 4-2 defeat in Sweden despite leading 2-1 at half time thanks to some absolutely shocking goalkeeping, woeful defending, abysmal in midfield and even less up front, leading some to call for other players to be involved in the national team.

Hart was selected to play in goal, defence, midfield and attack, meaning he faced the eleven men of Sweden on his own. After conceding the first goal to Zlatan Ibrahimovich, hart then showed why Hodgson had put such faith in him by putting the three lions in front with two goals in three minutes.

But Sweden’s ten man advantage soon started to show in the second half as Ibrahimovich equalised, then gave Sweden a 3-2 lead, before scoring an outrageous goal right near the end to secure the win for the home side.

After the game, an angry Roy Hodgson said, “It was a disappointing that Joe didn’t perform tonight. He faced eleven men and really he should have been able to take them on his own. I’m really, really disappointed. I can’t really put it into words. Joe was shit. Simple as that. Is Peter Shilton still available?”

And former Manchester United defender Gary Neville was also quick to jump on the Hate Joe Hart bandwagon. “If that was David de Gea, he’d have fucking thrashed Sweden 8-0. You don’t see him making so many mistakes. Joe Hart is fucking shit and so is his club. Twats.”

However, the Manchester City keeper spoke out after the match, saying Hodgson may have got his tactics wrong. “Maybe it would have been better if I had ten other players alongside me, you know like any regular team. Then we could have played any formation but Roy went with a 1-1-1-1 system and it just doesn’t work in international football.”

Angry England fans have already started demanding their money back for Hart’s inept display. “I paid like seven hundred quid to get here from South London, said Scott a Manchester United supporter. “And I get treated to a display like that. Fucking pathetic. Hart for England? Not in my lifetime. Wait I’ve heard that before somewhere.”

And the FA are also investigating reports that Hart racially abused himself during the game following his bad performance. “We understand that he called himself some names that were not befitting of a professional footballer. We are waiting to see if the alleged victim, Joe Hart, comes forward with this, then we will be able to punish Joe Hart.”

May the force be with you

The Fed Up Jedi

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